he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
