everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Two words: nipple clamps
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