gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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