THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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