Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i love accidental penises.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
