I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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