She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
operation harelip BJ is a go
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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