i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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