so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
