Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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