Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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