bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
