so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
