if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
the raccoons are back...
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