Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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