I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
