Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
