I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
