ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
