im holly from the hills drunk
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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