8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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