Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
