i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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