I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
