Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
