This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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