when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
