Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
love makes seman taste better
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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