Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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