I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
