i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
