My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
