I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
