Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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