Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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