I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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