It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
