I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
