So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Semen is not good for contacts.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
