Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
