Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just threw up on my dentist
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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