Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
