Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
