I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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