I just pynch a tree in the face
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
