The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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