We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Someone stole a lamp last night.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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