So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
do nipples grow back?
Randomize