god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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