Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
They have beer where we have blood.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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